Words are not enough

 

Funny how ironic life can be sometimes. Just a week ago I was talking about milestones, about the fact that everything has an end. And just a few days ago someone’s life ended. Someone I really loved and cared for, someone I didn’t expect to leave me at this point in life. Or at all. I guess we really take things for granted, don’t we?

Now that one of my grandpas is gone, I just feel my heart is filled with regrets. The regret that I didn’t go see him on Sunday, that I didn’t call him like at all and that it seems an eternity since I’ve last seen him, the regret that I actually never told him how much I love him and how important he is to me. That I admired, and still admire, him. I can only hope that, as an understanding and patient grandpa that he was, he understood what I had never actually told him. I also hope that he really is in a better place right now, watching over us and forgiving us any mistake we could have possibly made. And if he’s not there yet, I’ll make sure he will go there, because he deserves it. That’s the only thing I can do for him right now, pray.

You see, I don’t really believe in the so-called “it’s Tuesday, 13 or Friday, 13 so it’s bad luck”.

But it was Tuesday.And 13. 

13.12.2011

It was like a warm spring day, not a cold December one. Maybe this means it was better for him to go wherever he went; maybe this means that God, knowing through how much pain he’s been through during the last years, decided to ease everything, by taking him close to him without having him experience much pain, without him even expecting it. Maybe, and I really hope this is a sure thing, he now knows no pain or anger or anything; he must have his well deserved peace.